A few months ago I wrote how I was planning on writing a book. In the past few months I struggled with completing it because I really did not know how. The book is a big part of me and who I have become as a woman and I had doubts about sharing it with others. I did not have an issue with sharing it with strangers but sharing it with the people I know and love. The book is based on experiences I had as an adolescent and young adult. I struggled because I did not know (and still do not know) how my friends and family will what I have written. When writing a book based on human experiences albeit non-fiction or fiction it is a chance you will face judgement from those you know. When I decided as a child I wanted to be a writer, I never considered how what I write will affect the people I know and love. I never considered the people I know and love will actually read the book. As a child, I knew I wanted to write and always thought about how my books will affect the lives of people I did not know. I really struggled because I did not want to bring shame and embarrassment to anyone. As I mentioned the book is based on true events. Some events are exaggerated and some are not. These are things I learned and have experienced in my 27 years (almost 28 years of living, my birthday is next Friday).
Opening myself and being vulnerable to those I know has been one of the biggest issues I had in completing this book. Another thing, I struggled with was actually sitting down and finishing it. I began writing it last Fall and stopped for several months. I began writing again after having a pep talk with one of my best friends after having a bad day at work. He said,
"Stacy, if you don't want to continue this lifestyle do something to change it. What happened to you writing a book? finish that. that will open so many doors for you."
When he said this to me, I came home and began formatting the separate sections I had previously completed. I had 90 typed pages!!! My mind was blown. That was my motivation to finish. I had to give myself pep talks,
"Stacy, you've done so much, don't stop now. keep pushing through. your dream is almost a reality."
Despite the pep talk, I still slacked off. Fear of failure. Fear of success. I do not know (and still don't know) what it is but I was scared. At this point I set the book aside AGAIN. Then upon attending a Summer Enrichment class at church and being encouraged by my classmates, I decided to continue. The Fourth of July weekend, I did not have any plans so I sat home and completed my book. I finished the book!! That was the most wonderful feeling. I finished writing my book!! I can not believe it. Now I am in the process of editing. It is a long and tedious process but I am excited. It is something I set my mind on doing and I actually did it. Once I complete the editing process and have an actual book in my hand....
I am just so excited. It has been a long road but I am halfway there. My goal of having a completed manuscript by August 31 is coming true. Once I finish editing the book I will visit Kinko's and get a bounded version before I submitted it to publishers. In regards to that, I am struggling between self-publishing via www.lulu.com or www.createaspace.com or using publishing company of my author friends. This is my first book so I do not want to give up all of my power in the publishing process. I will probably create a website or pay someone to create one so I can appropriately promote my book.
Once again, I am so excited. I have a completed book. I just wanted to share the writing process and the struggles I have had so far. There will be so much more written about this process (the publishing, the promotion, speaking about it etc).
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