On Being 'Christian'

I have been attending church more. I find myself constantly reading my bible. I find
myself praying more. I find myself ONLY listening to the praise station when I am
not listening to my IPod. I find myself doing so many things I did not do before. Nothing traumatic happened in my life where I felt "I need God to help me get thru this..." One day I just decided to go back to church. Nothing big...

I never thought of myself as "Religious". I honestly do not even like the term. Despite my whole-heartedly believing John 3:16, I would never call myself "Christian." I felt society placed too much emphasis on this word and passed over the point. I never wanted to get caught up in the list of what 'Christians can' and 'Christians can not' do:

• "Christians don't listen to rap music"
• "Christians don't have fun"
• "Christians always in church"
• "Christians don't......"
• "Christians do....."

People just seemed to have this preconceived notion of what Christians can' and 'Christians can not' do. I did not want to get involved in the “titles” so I identified as being 'Spiritual'(which I still do but that is not the point of this post....). I felt identifying as 'Spiritual' was a safe spot. For me being “Spiritual” meant I believe in a higher being. I had a connection with a spiritual power that kept me focused, grounded, and humbled. Being ‘Spiritual’ meant I did not have to justify or explain any of my wrong doings. I did not have to explain my mistakes. I did not have to worry how my actions would affect how others may view “Christians.” Calling myself ‘Spiritual’ kept all the explanations and justifications at bay. I never stopped believing in God, I just changed my title. It was easier to identify as being “Spiritual” than saying “I am a Christian” But in Matthew 10:33, Jesus says

"But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven (NIV)"

Perhaps I disowned Jesus and God. I did not feel worthy enough to take on that title. I did not think I was up for the challenge because I was not perfect. And in order to be “Christian” you have to be perfect. Right?

The adage says “Come as you are.” Those 4-words have so much more meaning than what most people realize. It means so much more than your physical appearance. I have seen people use this phrase to justify the clothing they are wearing to church. It is not just come as you are in your “physical appearance” but come as you are in the emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Nobody's perfect!!

If you are waiting on perfection before attending church then you will be


waiting a very long time. I struggled with attending church and getting involved because of perfection. I knew there were many aspects of my life I wanted to improve. I felt I needed to be perfect to attend church. I did not think I was worthy to walk in the House of the Lord knowingly the week before I fornicated (1Corint 6:18); knowing the day before I did not “honor thy father (Exodus 20:12)”; knowing I did not love thy neighbor as I loved myself (Lev. 19:18); knowing I lied (Deut 5:20).

How could I sit in the church and shout and praise when I did these things??
I also felt I was not a true “Christian” because I did not pray, worship, or participate in church the way others did. I did not ‘speak in tongues.’ ‘I did not praise dance. I felt there was no need for me to attend church on a regular to have a sincere relationship with God. I prayed every day. I talked to God every morning as I prepared my day. I read devotionals and spiritual books on a regular. I wrote in my journal as actual letters to God. After doing all of this did I really need to attend church?

As I have grown and mature I realize it is so much more than just going to the ‘House of the Lord’ and sitting there on Sundays. Being a ‘Christian’ is much more than going to church every Sunday. I could go to church every Sunday and still be a horrible person just as I can never go to church and be the best person in the world. Being ‘Christian’ is loving others as you love yourself; abiding by the 10 Commandments; recognizing God is Love & Love is God; and so much more (realize I am knowledgeable of the bible but I have no formal training so I can only provide an overview).

I end this post by sharing I am on a journey for something so much powerful than I have ever seen before. I am clearer on my purpose. I always knew about God but now I know God. Throughout this journey, I realized Christianity is so much more than being perfect.

If you see a fellow Christian back-sliding; do not judge. Do not condemn. Even if you are an atheist or an agnostic and do not believe in God; nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. Offer that person some kind words; some encouragement. Reach out a hand. Love one another. No one will ever be perfect. I think the sooner we realized that the faster we can get on with our lives and begin our walk with Jesus. I am a proud Christian but I am also human. I will make mistakes. There maybe days when I knowingly do something wrong just because it is something I want to do. No, that is not right, but I am only human. It is a journey. Christianity is a process.

“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me”
(Jeremiah 29:13)

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