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I am a writer but.....

I am a writer. I have always considered myself a writer. If you have been following my blog then you know how much I enjoy, no LOOOOVE writing. Despite my love for the craft I recently had to ask myself this If I am a writer, how come I haven't written anything in so long?? If I am a writer, how come I have not posted anything on my blog in months? Then I had to dig deep and question myself “Stacy, are you really a writer?”

“Stacy, are you really a writer?”

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I began my blog on Thanksgiving of 2009. I have read other blogs and heard about the “blogosphere” but did not know if I wanted to really be a part of it. I initially began this blog as a personal journal. It was meant to just be an overview of my thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Then I began noticing how other “bloggers” were able to really excel off of their blog; book deals, magazines positions, so forth and so forth. In my quest to be the “young professional”, I attempted to do the same thing. I wanted that fame and glory but I did not realize the hard work and consistency it took. You really have to put work in as a writer to be known and get noticed. There are no days when you’re apathetic and think “Oh, I don’t feel like writing today.” If those days exist as a writer you have to get over them. There are no days when you feel “I am so tired… my life is so busy…. I just can’t write today.” My counterparts had this ambition I did not have; or so I thought. Then I aimed to make this blog a collection of my thoughts and feelings but concluded I could also incorporate more social causes and issues. I am a social worker; the title is in the name of the blog so I need to write more about social issues. I accomplished that goal (to the best of my ability). Then I had my ‘Ah-ha’ moment. I realized I was chasing other people’s destiny. I was trying to break into their niche. I was coveting thy neighbor’s stuff.

My purpose when I began writing publicly was never to gain fame or following. I just wanted to share my feelings. Then when Isaw the success of my counterparts (the real bloggers) I wanted to do the same. I wanted to be a relationship, humor, non-profit blogger, and so many more. Sometimes it became overwhelming because I was trying to do what others were doing; yet it just was not right. I realized I did not have my own niche, I was not being authentically StacyAustralia.

In this quest, I had the opportunity to write for 2 other blogs. It is amusing but at that point I felt I had 3 different voices across the blogs. The writings I posted on the first blog were more humorous, something quirky to make you laugh and discuss amongst your friends then carry on with your day. The writings for the other blog were more thought-provoking personal experiences/reflections. Lastly, was my personal blog which was my heart and soul. Even though this blog was my heart and soul, I know I did not do enough to help it reached its maximum capacity. Initially, I was writing blog posts every day. I would write them then have schedule for positing throughout the week. I stay up all night writing and researching things I wanted to write about.  It was so many days I watched the sun come up because I was up all night writing. It was just that serious for me. It was everything to me. After much trial and error, I found my niche. My niche is just being StacyAustralia. No one can be me like I can be me. Trying to do what my peers were doing did not work for me.  Honestly, I did not care about some of the topics they were writing about, but because of the buzz it had on Twitter or Facebook, I wanted to write about it as well. Seriously, how many times can we talk about the status of young African American male/female relationships? Really?

As I mentioned before, one thing about being a writer- you have to put in your time. This has been one of the biggest obstacles I have struggled with since I had the various life changes over the last year.  Sometimes I just do not have the time and/or energy to write. But if I do not take the time to hone my skills or take the time to share how I feel and what I think- how can I call myself a writer? These are my thoughts, my feelings, my words and no one else can write them for me. No one else can jump into my head and write down on paper how I feel. I have to put in the work. It does not matter if I am maintaining my blog, writing a book, starting a side hustle-I MUST PUT IN THE WORK. If I claim this is my dream, my passion, my purpose, my God-given gift then I must treat it as such and commit.

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Within the time I began this blog and the time I became serious about carrying the title ‘writer’, I have had so many opportunities to present myself as one. As mentioned in previous posts, I finally finished writing my book. In October of last year, I decided to write a book. I been a ‘writer’ since I was a child and it was something I always wanted to do. I have written several poems and short stories but never an actual book. I struggled with what I wanted to write about. I decided my first book was going to be a semi-memoir/self-help for young girls and women. I know the experiences I have had throughout my life and the choices I have made both good and bad.  I am still editing the book with plans to have it published within the next few months.  In addition to this book, I have a poetry book I am working on as well. These are just some of my personal endeavors I am currently working on.  I have also had several coworkers and classmates ask me to help them on several projects including editing a self-published book, a dissertation, and cover letters/resumes. As a writer, the opportunities are there for me to write. The opportunities have always been there for me to write. God has continuously given me second, third, and fourth chances to utilize my talent. I cannot emphasize enough how much I love writing. It has been my passion (along with teaching-but that is another post) since I was a child. It is the one thing that brings me happiness and it does not take much work or effort to accomplish it. I am a writer.

Just know that if I am not working on something within my blog, I am working on something behind the scenes (now I need to figure out how to get paid for it….).

I'm writing a book.... Update

A few months ago I wrote how I was planning on writing a book. In the past few months I struggled with completing it because I really did not know how. The book is a big part of me and who I have become as a woman and I had doubts about sharing it with others. I did not have an issue with sharing it with strangers but sharing it with the people I know and love. The book is based on experiences I had as an adolescent and young adult. I struggled because I did not know (and still do not know) how my friends and family will what I have written. When writing a book based on human experiences albeit non-fiction or fiction it is a chance you will face judgement from those you know. When I decided as a child I wanted to be a writer, I never considered how what I write will affect the people I know and love. I never considered the people I know and love will actually read the book. As a child, I knew I wanted to write and always thought about how my books will affect the lives of people I did not know. I really struggled because I did not want to bring shame and embarrassment to anyone. As I mentioned the book is based on true events. Some events are exaggerated and some are not. These are things I learned and have experienced in my 27 years (almost 28 years of living, my birthday is next Friday).

Opening myself and being vulnerable to those I know has been one of the biggest issues I had in completing this book. Another thing, I struggled with was actually sitting down and finishing it. I began writing it last Fall and stopped for several months. I began writing again after having a pep talk with one of my best friends after having a bad day at work. He said,
"Stacy, if you don't want to continue this lifestyle do something to change it. What happened to you writing a book? finish that. that will open so many doors for you."
When he said this to me, I came home and began formatting the separate sections I had previously completed. I had 90 typed pages!!! My mind was blown. That was my motivation to finish. I had to give myself pep talks,
"Stacy, you've done so much, don't stop now. keep pushing through. your dream is almost a reality."
Despite the pep talk, I still slacked off. Fear of failure. Fear of success. I do not know (and still don't know) what it is but I was scared. At this point I set the book aside AGAIN. Then upon attending a Summer Enrichment class at church and being encouraged by my classmates, I decided to continue. The Fourth of July weekend, I did not have any plans so I sat home and completed my book. I finished the book!! That was the most wonderful feeling. I finished writing my book!! I can not believe it. Now I am in the process of editing. It is a long and tedious process but I am excited. It is something I set my mind on doing and I actually did it. Once I complete the editing process and have an actual book in my hand....

I am just so excited. It has been a long road but I am halfway there. My goal of having a completed manuscript by August 31 is coming true. Once I finish editing the book I will visit Kinko's and get a bounded version before I submitted it to publishers. In regards to that, I am struggling between self-publishing via www.lulu.com or www.createaspace.com or using publishing company of my author friends. This is my first book so I do not want to give up all of my power in the publishing process. I will probably create a website or pay someone to create one so I can appropriately promote my book.

Once again, I am so excited. I have a completed book. I just wanted to share the writing process and the struggles I have had so far. There will be so much more written about this process (the publishing, the promotion, speaking about it etc).

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On Being 'Christian'

I have been attending church more. I find myself constantly reading my bible. I find
myself praying more. I find myself ONLY listening to the praise station when I am
not listening to my IPod. I find myself doing so many things I did not do before. Nothing traumatic happened in my life where I felt "I need God to help me get thru this..." One day I just decided to go back to church. Nothing big...

I never thought of myself as "Religious". I honestly do not even like the term. Despite my whole-heartedly believing John 3:16, I would never call myself "Christian." I felt society placed too much emphasis on this word and passed over the point. I never wanted to get caught up in the list of what 'Christians

Have I completed those goals......

Write and publish a book
Learn how to play guitar
Go horseback riding
Begin locking my hair (I did a consultation earlier this month and decided I am going to keep my free standing fro)
Learn how to swim
Apply to a PhD program
Obtain a job in SW field utilizing the skills I've learned
Fall in love (mutual love- relationship)
Decrease my meat intake
Speak publicly
Answer my phone when it rings (I really do not like talking on the phone)
Increase my income by 135% ( I did the math, it's really not that much-believe me) 
Begin exercising again (especially yoga and Zumba)
Really work on a side hustle
Volunteer more
Date more (variety of men)

As you can see many of these things are still on my list to be crossed off for the year.
It's only mid-year so I have enough time to complete some of the other goals. Stay tuned to learn more about my book. The goal is to have it published before end of summer!!

I'm back....

Work/life balance in full effect

Goals for 2011

This is the last day of 2010. The last day of the new millennium. It has been a very interesting year for me. I graduated with my Masters of Social Work. I was cheated on. My love (not the one who cheated) came back into my life and left and came back (and left). I fussed and fought with my parents.  I struggled financially. I moved to a new city/new state. I did some other things....

As I reflect on what I did or didn't do in 2010, I know I want to do more next year. A new year, a new life, new look, new love, new goals, new everything. Below is a list of the things I want to do in 2011. I don't believe in resolutions. I do goals because they seem more attainable and less disappointing if I don't succeed..

1. Write and publish a book
2. Learn how to play guitar
3. Go horseback riding
4. Begin locking my hair (I did a consultation earlier this month and decided I am going to keep my free standing fro)
5. Learn how to swim
6. Apply to a PhD program
7. Obtain a job in SW field utilizing the skills I've learned
8. Fall in love (mutual love- relationship)
9. Decrease my meat intake
10. Speak publicly
11. Answer my phone when it rings (I really do not like talking on the phone)
12. Increase my income by 135% ( I did the math, it's really not that much-believe me) 
13. Begin exercising again (especially yoga and Zumba)
14. Really work on a side hustle
15. Volunteer more
16. Date more (variety of men)

These are some of the goals I have. ALL are attainable. I hope all of you are ready for the New Year. Leave the old stuff behind if it is not helping you get to that next level. Sadly, I have some people I need to leave behind. As I always say "I love me, more than I can ever love you". 

Anyways, I hope you all have a good year!! Enjoy yourself. 

Photo Credit 

I'm a nerd...

These are the books I will finish the year out reading. You can add "A lesson before dying" to the stack. I happened to leave that one in the car. I have to give a shoutout and show some love to my Twitter friends who recommended some of these books. Thanks.

I'm working on a post now about "72 Hour Hold" by Bebe Moore Campbell. Despite being fiction, this book demonstrated the realities of having a family member with a mental illness.

Well, back to my reading.

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